what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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