You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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