Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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