just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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