Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
how does that bad decision feel?
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