hotel room ftw
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize