"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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