So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
