Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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