She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
