i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You made out with two different species that night
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize