You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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