How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
