I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
