Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
