he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
