Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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