Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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