we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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