i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
