Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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