Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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