It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
