You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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