thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
