they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
