I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I use my feet as sexual weapons
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
