Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
