After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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