This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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