I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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