I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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