I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
