Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
