Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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