Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
