I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
