i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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