dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
