No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
