There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
God, I missed his penis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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