Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
