And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
