Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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