she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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