Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize