Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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