I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Holy shit dude........stairs
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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