u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
