I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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