Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
