i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
