This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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