I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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