Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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