I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Success! We fucked roommates!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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