Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
