worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
