Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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