she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think my moral compass just broke
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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