i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
