dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
