Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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